Monday, May 14, 2007

Origin: Early search engines

Origin: Early search engines

Webmasters and content providers began optimizing sites for search engines in the mid-1990s, as the first search engines were cataloging the early Web.

Initially, all a webmaster needed to do was submit a page, or URL, to the various engines which would send a spider to "crawl" that page, extract links to other pages from it, and return information found on the page to be indexed. The process involves a search engine spider downloading a page and storing it on the search engine's own server, where a second program, known as an indexer, extracts various information about the page, such as the words it contains and where these are located, as well as any weight for specific words, as well as any and all links the page contains, which are then placed into a scheduler for crawling at a later date.

Site owners started to recognize the value of having their sites highly ranked and visible in search engine results, creating an opportunity for both "white hat" and "black hat" SEO practitioners. Indeed, by 1996, email spam could be found on Usenet touting SEO services. The earliest known use of the phrase "search engine optimization" was a spam message posted on Usenet on July 26, 1997.

Early versions of search algorithms relied on webmaster-provided information such as the keyword meta tag, or index files in engines like ALIWEB. Meta-tags provided a guide to each page's content. But indexing pages based upon meta data was found to be less than reliable, because some webmasters abused meta tags by including irrelevant keywords to artificially increase page impressions for their website and to increase their ad revenue. Cost per thousand impressions was at the time the common means of monetizing content websites. Inaccurate, incomplete, and inconsistent meta data in meta tags caused pages to rank for irrelevant searches, and fail to rank for relevant searches. Web content providers also manipulated a number of attributes within the HTML source of a page in an attempt to rank well in search engines.

By relying so much upon factors exclusively within a webmaster's control, early search engines suffered from abuse and ranking manipulation. To provide better results to their users, search engines had to adapt to ensure their results pages showed the most relevant search results, rather than unrelated pages stuffed with numerous keywords by unscrupulous webmasters. Search engines responded by developing more complex ranking algorithms, taking into account additional factors that were more difficult for webmasters to manipulate.

Second stage: Link analysis

While graduate students at Stanford University, Larry Page and Sergey Brin developed a search engine called "backrub" that relied on a mathematical algorithm to rate the prominence of web pages. The number calculated by the algorithm is called PageRank, and is based upon the quantity and prominence of incoming links. PageRank estimates the likelihood that a given page will be reached by a web user who randomly surfs the web, and follows links from one page to another. In effect, this means that some links are stronger than others, as a higher PageRank page is more likely to be reached by the random surfer.

Page and Brin founded Google in 1998. On strong word of mouth from programmers, Google became a popular search engine. Off-page factors such as PageRank and hyperlink analysis were considered, as well as on-page factors, to enable Google to avoid the kind of manipulation seen in search engines focusing primarily upon on-page factors for their rankings. Although PageRank was more difficult to game, webmasters had already developed link building tools and schemes to influence the Inktomi search engine, and these methods proved similarly applicable to gaining PageRank. Many sites focused on exchanging, buying, and selling links, often on a massive scale. Some of these schemes, or link farms, involved the creation of thousands of sites for the sole purpose of link spamming.

Current technology: Search engines consider many signals

To reduce the impact of link schemes, search engines have developed a wider range of undisclosed off-site factors they use in their algorithms. As a search engine may use hundreds of factors in ranking the listings on its SERPs, the factors themselves and the weight each carries can change continually, and algorithms can differ widely. The four leading search engines, Google, Yahoo, Microsoft and, do not disclose the algorithms they use to rank pages. Some SEOs have carried out controlled experiments to gauge the effects of different approaches to search optimization, and share results through online forums and blogs. SEO practitioners may also study patents held by various search engines to gain insight into the algorithms.

Optimizing for traffic quality

In addition to seeking better rankings, search engine optimization is also concerned with traffic quality. Traffic quality is measured by how often a visitor using a specific keyword phrase leads to a desired conversion action, such as making a purchase, viewing or downloading a certain page, requesting further information, signing up for a newsletter, or taking some other specific action.

By improving the quality of a page's search listings, more searchers may select that page, and those searchers may be more likely to convert. Examples of SEO tactics to improve traffic quality include writing attention-grabbing titles, adding accurate meta descriptions, and choosing a domain and URL that improve the site's branding.

Relationship between SEO and search engines

By 1997 search engines recognized that some webmasters were making efforts to rank well in their search engines, and even manipulating the page rankings in search results. In some early search engines, such as Infoseek, ranking first was as easy as grabbing the source code of the top-ranked page, placing it on your website, and submitting a URL to instantly index and rank that page.

Due to the high value and targeting of search results, there is potential for an adversarial relationship between search engines and SEOs. In 2005, an annual conference named AirWeb was created to discuss bridging the gap and minimizing the sometimes damaging effects of aggressive web content providers.

Some more aggressive site owners and SEOs generate automated sites or employ techniques that eventually get domains banned from the search engines. Many search engine optimization companies, which sell services, employ long-term, low-risk strategies, and most SEO firms that do employ high-risk strategies do so on their own affiliate, lead-generation, or content sites, instead of risking client websites.

Some SEO companies employ aggressive techniques that get their client websites banned from the search results. The Wall Street Journal profiled a company, Traffic Power, that allegedly used high-risk techniques and failed to disclose those risks to its clients. Wired reported the same company sued a blogger for mentioning that they were banned. Google's Matt Cutts later confirmed that Google did in fact ban Traffic Power and some of its clients.

Some search engines have also reached out to the SEO industry, and are frequent sponsors and guests at SEO conferences and seminars. In fact, with the advent of paid inclusion, some search engines now have a vested interest in the health of the optimization community. All of the main search engines provide information/guidelines to help with site optimization: Google's, Yahoo!'s, MSN's and's. Google has a Sitemaps program to help webmasters learn if Google is having any problems indexing their website and also provides data on Google traffic to the website. Yahoo! Site Explorer] provides a way for webmasters to submit URLs, determine how many pages are in the Yahoo! index and view link information.

Getting into search engines databases

As of 2007 the leading contextual search engines do not require submission. They discover new sites and pages automatically. Google and Yahoo offer submission programs, such as Google Sitemaps, for which an XML type feed can be created and submitted. These programs are designed to assist sites that may have pages that aren't discoverable by automatically following links.

Search engine crawlers may look at a number of different factors when crawling a site. Not every pages is indexed by the search engines. Distance of pages from the root directory of a site may also be a factor in whether or not pages get crawled. .

Some search engines, notably Yahoo!, operate a paid submission service that guarantee crawling for either a set fee or cost per click. Such programs usually guarantee inclusion in the database, but do not guarantee specific ranking within the search results. SEOs and webmasters have expressed indignation at having to pay for Yahoo! organic search listings.

Thursday, May 10, 2007


OzMonsta. Age: 22; Gender: Male; Astrological Sign: Cancer; Zodiac Year: Rat; Occupation: Unsure; Location: Londizzle : United Kingdom. About Me. A spaced out zombie who suffers from constant lack of sleep.Runs on hourly refuels of Red
19 February, 2006 00:27; OzMonsta said... Thanks Jo, its actually a quote from a poem I like by Philip Larkin. ... 21 February, 2006 20:45; OzMonsta said... hahahah Jo, I was reading that book three years ago when we met that fine day

Saturday, February 25, 2006

"The world is a fine place and worth fighting for."

Being so far away from home, I undeniably feel somewhat disattached to the goings on in my birthplace. The feeling is one I have come accustomed to now, over the years, one I feel most Iraqi expatriates would relate to; a cocktail of emotions ranging from anger, to bitterness, to want to do something, you want to change it, ultimately know theres nothing you can the point where you feel what I feel now; numb, as if nothing fades you anymore.

This week has been a tough one for my country.One I prayed would not come around, though knew was an inevitability; like a ticking time bomb. I have read so many articles, watched so many news reports and debated the issues so much this week, that my mind and soul honestly feel drained to their limits.

To me, an Iraqi born in Iraq yet having lived in the West since the age of 3, its a strange feeling seeing these internal religious disputes. I was bought up to know that I was a muslim. Not Sunni.Not Shia.Just Muslim.Never did I encounter a situation where I would need to associate myself with either; I was taught I was Muslim and that was that.

No matter what differentiations I came across from many other Iraqis here in London over whether I was Sunni or Shia, I always thought, and moreso, knew that back home it was different; that to be asked the question would be an insult of extreme proportions.There was no differentiation; you were an Iraqi first and foremost.

I'm now left with the question, did the Exiled Iraqis who went back to Iraq Post-War (be it to rule, or whatever) bring their religiously seclusive ways with them, thereby causing inter-religious strife, or was this always a brewing problem waiting to boil over?

Eitherway, Iraq is in a sad, sad state of affairs. If, God forbid, it does descend into Civil War, I feel it would change the face of the Middle East as we know it.Not saying that this is an outright civil war now, though clearly enough, the wheels are in motion; should another such attack take place, then the outcome is obvious. The Lebanese Civil War last 15 long will this last?

Talking to a friend a while back, discussing the 'Iraq Situation', she mentioned something, which stayed with me. She said, "There is still much tension in Iraq, because there are still so many unresolved issues. Jailing Saddam or killing his sons might be a solution to many albeit a short term solution, but the pain is still raw in the hearts of the previously trodden upon (be they Sunni, Kurd or Shia) for decades" In a way I agree with her...In order to move into the future, we must invariably deal with the past.

For me, theres no more a post I agreed with this week then that of Zeyad's Healing Iraq. His last paragraph was rather poignant, and one which hit me profoundly;

"What kind of nation are we? What kind of nation kills its intellectuals and academics, its doctors and healers, its women and children, its clerics and preachers? What kind of nation blows up churches and mosques, hotels and schools, funerals and weddings? We have left nothing sacred. Yet we have the insolence to accuse others of offending us, of vilifying us. I announce today that we have proved ourselves worthy of that vilification."

This post was bought to you with the help of Radiohead - Street Spirit and the colour grey.

Long is the way And hard, that out of Hell leads up to light”.
-John Milton

Saturday, February 18, 2006

'Man hands on misery to man'

What a fantastically uplifting week its been...what with the
British Army abusing Iraqis, the American Army abusing Iraqis, the Iraqi Army abusing Iraqis, and well...even Birds abusing Iraqis, Im left wondering; Jesus, you ever get the feeling this land is cursed?

Regarding the British Army abuse, the article linked above being "Blair promises Iraq 'abuse' probe". Well..I'm just gonna have to go right ahead trust you there Tone.I mean..surely a politician of such high status would'nt lie to the general public..would he? Not only will I put my trust in you, Tone, to 'probe' as promised, but Im more than sure that you will bring the perpetrators to rightful justice...right?

Regarding the American Army seems that the American government is downplaying it, regarding it as photos of an old issue, and as condemned the Austrialian media for showing the new photos. Somehow I wonder had these photos never come to light, would we all have ever known about the abuses and what was happening in Iraq?

Dont even get me started on the 'Death Squads'. Seriously. Although, it does seem that the Iraqi Army/ Police Squads seem to be grasping the notion of Democracy rather well; what with rounding people up without trial, imprisioning and torture, it somehow feels as if Guantanamo isnt really a million miles away.All we need now are those trendy orange jump suits.

To me the perfect solution seems to be to build more detention camps and prisons in which the ugliest crimes can be freely practised so that the Iraqis can be taught a really good lesson of old fashioned democracy.

If this is what democracy is, then Let Freedom Reign.

Whats strange is that, we are probably not even seeing 5% of what is actually happening in Iraq (bar the Bird Abuse). Only question Im left with personally I really want to know what else is happening?

On a lighter note, this week I finally found the key to my long lost quest; my struggle for truth, a puzzle which has been plaguing me for many a year; why do men have nipples? Well, as I was waiting to meet a friend for coffee (even though I dont actually drink coffee), I decided to waste time in Waterstones Bookshop, and well, I came across a book actually called Why Do Men Have Nipples? Now I realise to the common reader, or the common eye, this may seem trivial.I assure you it is not.To me, it felt as if my fate, had led me to the holy grail, and there, clasped within my hands, was both my saviour, and everything that would destroy me.Aaaaaaanyhhoooooo, its apparently a book much like a 101 questions you wanted to ask your doctor but were too afriad to ask...and well, yay, now I feel like my lifes work is complete.

Oh yah, men have nipples because apparently back when we were sperms mixing with the egg, we all start out as females and then only later the chromosome things mix and woopydoodle we develop a shlong(yes, I know, my science sucks, and the explanation I gave is a condensed and probably somehow mixed up version..but hey, it works, so Im happy :D). Which by the way I found to be rather interesting...we all started out as women huh....hmmm...could always manage to somehow use that in an argument...must....remember..that..point...

This post was bought to you with the help of Manu Chao - 5 Razones, and the colour Purple.
"The miserable have no other medicine but hope."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The Monsta family is growing...and one day we shall rule the world *evil laugh*

Hail ye, Hail ye, a new recruit to the Monsta Family!


Welcome him with open arms, love, kisses, hugs, and many other forms of online blogging sexual abuse :D

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.
-Desmond Tutu

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Evil Mr.iPod.

Ok so I'm like avoiding this day at all means....ignoring, ignoring, ignoring....up until my mother says to me, in her beautiflly toned Iraqi accent ' Haa *ozmonsta*, mako hadaya ilak el youm?'. (So presents for you today?) this point...I decide you know its getting bad when even your own mother is feeling sympathy for your cause...soI leave the house for a walk.

Bobbing along to my iPod (therefore I am), I hit the shuffle button. Whats the first song that comes on? Sonny and Cher- I got you babe.


So I instantly hit next. What comes up? Stevie Wonder - My Cherie Amour. Now at this point I'm starting to think that someones trying to send me a sign.

I manage to listen to Stevie wail on for a bit this time, before I hit the next button. And would you believe it, Whitney Houstans I Will Always Love You comes on.

Ok by now, Im about to take Cocky Mr. iPod out of my pocket, lay him on the ground and start jumping. Jumping furiously smashing his pretty little screen face into a multidude of ugly little pieces *evil grin* in the middle of the street in London. But....I think no...Mr.iPod has a good 50Gb's worth of diverse music. Lets give him another chance before complete obliteration.

And so, after many months of shuffling I finally get to re-hear the genius Bill Hicks - You Cant Get Bitter. I wanted to start screaming with laughter out loud on the bus when it came on (Though I didnt.For many reasons.One being I was an Arab. On a bus. Sporting a stubblish man-beard *shy face*).

But not neccesarly laughing out of the comedy, but more so the momentum...I mean what better timing for a clip like that could you get, than Valentines Day; The corporate induced so- called love day that exists to remind us we are alone for another year.And when we are not, causes arguments with who we're with over the aspect of whether it should be celebrated or not.I mean, really, whats with that, when your not with someone, your thinking hmm..another year. And when you are, your thinking why should I succumb and celebrate my love on this day of all days in the year, just because Im told...and at that perfect moment you get walloped right upside your head by your partner.....

Eitherway...Mr.iPod had a narrow escape..and lives to see another day....

Just thought I'd post to see how weird it is that sometimes things just happen when your thinking about them.

Aaanyway...I either need to change my music library, fix my shuffle button, or kill my iPod sometime soon.

If anyone wants to know what Im talking about, try and listen to Bill Hicks - You Cant get bitter. If you cant find it, Im more than happy to email you it to you. It a short sound clip.

Oh yah, I nearly forgot, JoJo Dancer tagged me, so I guess I got some answerin' to do...

The rules of the game are:
  1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
  2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
  3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged.
  4. If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again.
Although I dont really agree with the rules of the game( "Perfect Lover"???? hopefully no such thing exists. I mean, who would want someone whos perfect, or moreso, someone whos perfect for them? argh the horror....but thats for another post/rant) I guess I will just have to go along and give 8...favourable traits ;)

Sex target: Female
  1. Opinionated*
  2. Empowerd
  3. Independent.
  4. Confident.
  5. Humorous
  6. Ambitious.
  7. Adventurous.
  8. Open-Minded.
*Cant stress how important this point is....

Now..I'm new to this whole blogging thing and dont really know 8 people I guess the buck stops here with me...though I will tag my special Manmonsta-lishous *muwhahah evil laugh* who I know is reading this.

This post was bought to with the help of Bill Hicks - You Cant get bitter, and the colour ...uff..fine..Pink.
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
-William Shakespeare

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

Rain down on me..

I sense this to be a long and emotionally fueled post; and so come hither and listen to what the Ozmonsta has seen and gathered over the past few days...

After my last post..its easy to say much has been on the mind. Initially, I could'nt help but notice all the furore caused by the Danish cartoons depicting the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH). I declined to comment or post anything on the issue, for I felt that anything worth saying might already have been said, and ...well, just felt no use in prescribed to any idea of thought, and much more so, dignifying the acts (be they the cartoons themselves, or the actions that have been carried out in retaliation), with a response. But then...I came across a plethora of ideas and different responses....but..more so than anything, the ideal which supressed my need to remain silent whilst all around me was losing its mind, was the representation of Muslims across the globe this week.

Be they in so-called retaliation to the cartoons, or just general. Whilst doing some work this week (for once), I stopped and looked at the world around me (with the help of google news...though you can imagine the slow motion serious look with camera rolling around me...if you want)...and well...had I not had my rough, rugged, manly exterior..well..I just wanted to crouch down and cry at what the world, and more so, muslim and muslim representation has come to. From the Good the Bad and the plain old Fugly.

It was such a shame to see Islams message of peace massacred in this way, by small, narrow minded bigots, wearing fake suicide bomb jackets, or preaching hate and death. I was so proud to read about the Malaysian response to the cartoons; Education. Let us educate the world, form a conference, debate, and gain power through discussion, power of mind, to halter such unspeakable images being shown again.It is not a case of...freedom of speech, but I feel, much more so sensativity to the multicultural society in which we live. My initial response to the cartoons, was just the dim and somewhat arguably cynical view that these cartoons may have just created a 100 or more so "terrorists".

I was just so...upset to read of how Islam was being represented, in this country, though Abu Hamza, and Omar Khayyam, but so much more so glad to read of the Malaysian response. If only the Arab world would wake up and smell the halal beef *sigh*. The days of 'through any means neccesary', are sadly long gone. Discussion, Debate, and educational understanding are for me the only means forward (even though I am a self prescribed follower or Malcolm X as opposed to Martin Luther King).

At the end, I was just thankful for the Malaysian Muslim response, helping keep faith that there IS in fact another way to deal with such issues, as opposed to death (two or more killed in Afghanistan) anger and age old act of setting flags and embassies alight. I pray and hope that one day, sometime soon, Arab Muslims will lessen their arrogance of the beautiful religion borne into their region, and work together with Muslims worldwide, forming a united stand against extremism in any shape or form, be it from our own, or against us.What a funny world we live in.

-And now for something completly off topic....
Things to do before I die

*spend a summer/year working/studying in Spain.

*Spend a summer/few months building homes and development in Africa.


*Build a mosque back home dedicated to the memory of my father and brother.

*Go Hajj (I had a dream this week that I was in Mecca, taking my mahmah).

Adding to that flurry of excitement of what I might hope to want to achieve, I found the following surge of energy to my mind viable enough to add to this post.....

Places I want to visit

China - Great Wall of China

Spain - spend a summer/year travellign around Barcelona, Madrid, Seville, Al Hambra, San Sebsastian

Puerto Rico

Dominican Republic




American Road Trip (hopefully this summer *fingers crossed*)


Midweek I met up with a few friends, and the afternoon turned into night, and all pretty much descended into anarchy...through means of playing Truth or Phone. For any of you not aware of the rules of the game, they are as follows;

*Pretty much the same as Truth or Dare, but you put a mobile phone between you all, and spin it.

*Whoever it lands on is given an option of, yes, you guessed it, a Truth question, or well, Phone.

*Phone means the group selecting someon from the persons phone book, and that person must call them, and initiate a random conversation, not mentioning the game at all.If they dont pick up, they must leave a voicemail.

*You can only choose Truth 3 times in a row.

Now if your thinking ok, well, so far so good..well...just think of the number of people you meet, people whose numbers you take, yet never call.Or the countless amount of people you may have known in a different time of your life, but for some reason theyr name and number still rests very nicely in your phone book.Needless to say, its always much more interesting to play with close friends, who know when your lying to the rest of the group about your Truth questions, and know precisly who to make you call (ex girlfriends, friends you no longer speak to, girls you like etc).

Anyhoo...This game proceeded for a good 3 or so hours, taking in many...MANY embaressing phone calls....yet...the reason I bring it more so ...for the feelings it bought up. Needless to say, I chose truth on many occasions; I didnt care for sharing truths, coupled with the fantastically horrible habit I have (I find it unbelievably difficult to keep in contact with anyone) so for me to make calls to people on my phone, who I'd lost contact with, was..well much worse than opening up.

Yet..opening up, does indeed have its drawbacks...Not so much worrying about what the others may think of you...I didnt really have a problem with that; the people that know me, know me well..and thats all I pretty much could care for...but..moreso the problem was..well..myself. I found that opening up not only bought back much buried memories...but..more so demons I thought I had hidden far deep inside me.

It strange to look at yourself as someone who would...cause pain to someone an animal of hate, devoid of emotion. The age old request comes to mind; if only we could view ourselves as others do...funnily enough, after that night, I ..quite honestly didnt want to. Many thoughts and memories came back from a former life, a life I lead not so long ago. Once again, quoting my last post, it is indeed a strange thing to look at yourself from an outsideperspective, truly realising how much you have changed, and moved on..the steps you may have taken forward..or back..the different crowds you mix with..the people you used to well. The peopke who were then you life, and now..just a number on a phone.

Do all these things make you a differernt person? Eitherway...that night merely reinforced in my mind, a belief I once held, and still do hold; that in some cases, ignorance is the lie..leaving the past in the past...and try not to think of all the pain and sorrow you caused to yourself, and to others.

By the end of the night, I was pretty stunned...felt like calling up all those that I had mistreated and apologising...thankfully, I put the phone down, and watched Family Guy to cheer me up.I owe you one Seth.

Hmm...Muse - Blackout, just came on Random shuffle...haha, how appropriate;

don't grow up too fast
and don't embrace the past
this life's too good to last
and i'm too young to care

don't kid yourself
and don't fool yourself
this life could be the last
and we're too young to see

Dont get me wrong, it is without a doubt a most excellent game to play.Just be wary of the journey back home; left to your thoughts. Finding out things about yourself that you thought you had forgotten, or buried deep inside, can be rather daunting.What a funny world we live in.

In somehow strange circumstances, I came across this article the following day.Indeed, can Relationships survive infidelity? It was the basis for the subject of my final year Psychology Coursework at School...well...glad to say, my theory's were proved right..well..according to that article anyway. It seems it all comes down to the individual, and their means of decoding the term of infidelity.

The definition seems to differ across gender, and age. Personally, I think living with the begining of the end.If your partner doesnt know about it, it eats up away at you, until you break down and tell them, or alternatively leave them, as a result of your guilt, you find a way to somehow blame them.If they do know, then..the issue of trust must be tackled countless times after that, and well...relationships that do make it, might jsut probably go on to lead solid and happy futures...notice emphasis on 'those that do make it'.

Infidelity is such a sore issue to discuss..most of us have either been a victim or a perpetrator...though, inevitably, it is a learning experience.Whether it teaches trust, or judgement character, there is (although not noticing it initially) a lesson to learn..mistakes will be made..that is unquestionable..but..well...just because you may have been hurt in love before, is no reason not to learn to love again. What a funny world we live in.


On my way back on Thursday night, whilst waiting for the train at King Cross, I look down the platform..and for once..empty. Im happy, bobbing along to my iPod (therefore iAm), paying no heed to the lonely platform.I look to my right, and there is a guy, standing right beside me.Now at this point, I have a rather inquistive look on my face (Manmonsta,you know the one).Of the whole area encompassing the platform, this dude decides to stand right beside me.

I have no problem with this.I continue effectively bobbing along to my iPod (therefore iAm). A minute later, I can sort of instinctivly feel some sort of action next to me.I look to my right, and whats he gone and done? Mr Theres-no-space-on-the-whole-platform-so-Im-going-to-stand-next-to-ozmonsta, has just gone and whipped out his todger, and urinating all over the platform, the rails, and well the underground walls.Just..generally...pissing away, carelessly.

The peculiar thing was, he honestly did not look drunk.And more funnily enough, I ..wasnt really suprised; to myself I just thought, aaah IS London.Although in all my 19 years of living here, never once have I seen someone take a leak on the underground..I was just..well..oh well, hope he doesnt spill any on me, and took a step to the left.In a way, I envied his freedom.To just have the courage to do what you want to do..there and then.It is invariably selfish..but the freedom of it all was inspiring. What a funny world we live in.

-Requiem For A Dream

I was watching this weeks episode of Scrubs, when JD turns and says "I guess its human nature to worry about our future, especially when we think our dreams might not come true". I find it really weird how sometimes you honestly feel like the entire world seems to move around you.As if it somewhat tilts on its axis to suit your needs, how everything seems to somehow fit together, how sometimes things that play on your mind, you can see them everywhere you go.

This week has been rather troubling in terms of future.You might think its unsuprising that I say that.The OzMonsta is first and foremost a worrysome creature.But this week has been plaguing more than most.The feeling of things comming to an end is somehow upon me.My educational life is ending within the next three months, and decisions must be made.

Decisions must be made.The OzMonsta is'nt good at making decisions.Instead he anxiously worries.Worries about what the future might hold, instead of living today as it comes. Things seem to have come to a point this week, when considering which path ones life will take. Almost all my life, I've had this firm belief that I could, should I want, to be anything I want to be.To do anything I want to do.That belief of open endedness is sometimes a very healthy one.It leaves no barriers, it opens you up to the world..but..It also develops indecisivness.This week decisions had to be somehow felt as if many dreams and aspirations were comming to an end also.

You tell yourself there are things you will do..things you will say....a being that you will become.You see yourself as something your not.And then it all collapses, and all your left with is empty thoughts. What a funny world we live in.

This post was bought to you with the help of Bob Marley - Jammin', and the colour Hazel..ish.
Felt the need to bring about a track that will much neededly bring us all Bob's words, I hope you like Jammin' too. *shy face*

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
-Nelson Mandela